Foogle: The Fog of Google

For those of you who tried to respond to yesterday’s Travelogue/Blog/Rant, I apologize if you got a message "Delivery to the following recipients was aborted after 0 second(s):derosabooks@google.com.” My correct e-mail address is derosabooks@gmail.com. I blame Google for the confusion. I wrote them a tersely worded message: 

Dear Google

I am traveling in Italy. But you obviously know that. It’s very confusing, what with 1 Euro equivalent to 1.3395 dollars—who ever learned to multiply by 1.3395, or is it divide by? I’m never sure.  I’m not even sure whether Romans drive on the right or the left—they seem to be coming at me from all directions. As you can see, I’m confused. That’s why I didn’t appreciate logging into Good-ole  Google in my usual way and getting stuck in Google Italia. Who asked you to do that? Worse still, I can’t get out of it. Bad enough I don’t understand a word people are saying, but now my maps are in Italian too. I go looking for a pizza and I get a piazza. I get Google directions to the church of the Madonna of Chiusi, getting there before it opens, only to find it’s closed (chiuso) all day. And what good does a map in kilometers do me. Do you burn more or fewer calories walking a kilometer verses a mile after eating a mint Gelato to settle your stomach after bruschetta, salad, bread, pasta, wine and cheese? Who knows?

  

Last night’s supper (Eating Italian.)

Last night I was so confused, I meant to send an email to myself and the Bcc victims of my prose at derosabooks@gmail.com and sent it to derosabooks@google.com instead. For all I know you sent it to a bunch of Italia cousins I don’t even know at googalia.com. If they ask me for money, I’m holding you personally (corporately?) responsible. Not that I don’t appreciate the free email address. I do. Some people think it’s an actual business and I really do publish books. And thanks for your constant invitations to join your Google Circle. I’m not interested. 

I’m writing to ask you to forget where I am. Turn off Google Italia. Enough already! Basta! (In case I’m talking to Google Italia right now.) And while you’re at it, tell your friends at Apple to back off too. Do you know how embarrassing it is to take an opportunistic picture with your iPhone and have it show up as a screen saver on your TV when little kids visit? 

Yours truly,

Joe DeRosa

derosabooks@gmail.com